President Trump’s post-election litigation: a burnt turkey stuffed with embarrassing nonsense

The President has recorded one win and thirty-eight losses in his post-election lawsuits.[1] As a point of statistical comparison, this is roughly five times worse than the lowest batting average in MLB history and twenty times worse than Shaq’s career free-throw average.[2] The President’s singular win shorted an election cure period and has had literally no impact on the election’s outcome. Highlights from the losses include the following:

(a) Rudy Giuliani’s cringe-inducing oral arguments within which he admitted he was unaware of the very basics concerning standards of judicial review, was caught lying about the election in several dimensions, and did not understand what the word “opacity” means.[3]

(b) Multiple Trump attorneys, including Mr. Guiliani, admitting in court that they are not even alleging fraud occurred in the election but minor technical irregularities and that their proffered affidavit had been obtained by an open to the public online form gated only by a CAPTCHA bot-checker.[3]

(c) Several scathing judicial “benchslaps” including, my favorite, from federal Judge Matthew W. Brann who stated “[o]ne might expect that when seeking [to disenfranchise millions of Americans], a plaintiff would come formidably armed with compelling legal arguments and factual proof […] That has not happened. Instead, this Court has been presented with strained legal arguments without merit and speculative accusations, unpled in the operative complaint and unsupported by evidence.”[5]

Not satisfied with all this “winning,” this morning Sidney “The Kraken” Powell filed two lawsuits both of which misspell the word “district” at the top of their first pages and are composed of claims and “evidence” already considered and roundly rejected in the losses described above.[6] In what is arguably malpractice, both of Ms. Powell’s insane complaints seek to invalidate the election immediately(!) but are not accompanied by any motion, emergency or otherwise, for interlocutory injunctive relief, so, barring any further action, these garbage claims will take months for summary judgment or trial determination making them as pragmatically irrelevant as they are legally baseless. As you may recall, Ms. Powell’s stunning willingness to lie on television made her the President’s favorite attorney for exactly eight days until she grew too insane even for him.[7]

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. I never seek to sow discord, but if your friends and family members describe the President’s litigation efforts as anything but a disgraceful total collapse, they are flatly wrong. With love and a commitment to the truth in your heart, please feel free to correct them.

[1] https://www.democracydocket.com/2020-post-election-war-room/

[2] https://www.cbssports.com/.../chris-davis-finishes-2018.../ // https://www.noahbasketball.com/.../the-worst-free-throw....

[3] https://lawandcrime.com/.../when-applying-normal.../

[4] https://lawandcrime.com/.../trump-campaign-lawyer-admits.../

[5] https://www.washingtonpost.com/.../cc097fbe-2c50-11eb...

[6] https://lawandcrime.com/.../sidney-powell-mocked-scorned.../

[7] https://www.nytimes.com/.../poli.../sidney-powell-trump.html